


The Internalized Monologue of Jack Rackham

by tyomawrites



Series: Monologues [1]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Character Monolouge, Internal Monologue, Mentions of Tagged Relationships, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 22:25:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17692268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyomawrites/pseuds/tyomawrites
Summary: Ever since he'd met Anne, all he'd ever done was try to protect her. It was all he ever wanted, and all he had ever needed.And then Anne gets into bed with Max and his heart is breaking.





	The Internalized Monologue of Jack Rackham

Jack knows that he wears his heart on his sleeve, he does more than that, his heart is out in the open for anyone and everyone, but it’s never been his weakness. Except now it is.

He was never one to worry about his heart. Anne held it, she always had. Since they were young, he knew that there wouldn't be anyone else for him, and he thought the same for Anne. The way she trusts him and holds him. How he can trust her to do what she wants and knows he won’t get a knife in the back for it.

How wrong he was.

Anne falls into bed with Max, and her heart is as played with as her cunt. He feels sick, after he joins her and Max, and then the next morning he leaves, hides from Anne's eyes and throws up everything he's eaten in the last 24 hours onto the floors of his room. Anne and Max stay together, and it’s the knife in his back that he believed would never come. He is on the outskirts of everything he has ever known and loved and he feels broken.

He doesn’t tell Anne about how he feels, knows that she can’t soothe the ache anymore, and then Charles—his Captain, pulls him into a hug he shakes. He steels himself for a moment, just barely, before he’s running and then he’s bolting his door behind him and sinking to the ground sobbing.

Charles spots the change in him first. Anne is with him less, locked in Max’s room by her own decision. Usually Anne is the one still and quiet, but he’s adopting those qualities more and more. He doesn’t spout his usual comments, doesn’t run his mouth, there are bags under his eyes and any smile he gives is forced.

When he gets cornered and questioned by Charles in his room, he breaks down. He drops to his knees,  _ falls  _ to his knees and they crack against the wooden floors of his room and hides his head in his arms and sobs. Charles scrubs his fingers through his short hair, twist and pull him up into an embrace, and then squeezes him between his arms and mutters into his hair.

‘ _ Jackie, Jackie, Jackie _ ’ He soothes him and the tension in his shoulders—not just his shoulders but everything else, his thumbs dig down his back and trail the length of his spine until his back cracks beneath Charles’s fingers. ‘ _ Jackie sweetheart tell me _ .’ Charles’s voice is firm in his ear and then Jack is sagging against Charles’ chest.

Charles pulls him with him, slides them both into his and Anne’s bed and is surprisingly gentle with him while he strokes and scratches his fingers through Jack’s hair. Jack’s skin feels tight around his fingers, his face, his chest, his hands and he whimpers, when Charles curls his hands to squeeze at the back of his neck.

Charles holds him when he curls up against his chest, when his fingers twist into his shirt and he fists them, hiding his face into the crook of Charles’s neck.’

In the end Jack doesn’t say.

Jack doesn’t tell him but Charles looks after him, sneaks Jack into his bed at night and keeps an arm around him when he leaves to go back to his room—where is bed will either be empty or have both Max and Anne occupying it. ‘ _ Stay, stay _ .’ Charles insists into the back of his neck.

It becomes routine for them. Charles kisses him senseless and touches him like he’s something precious. He pulls Jack against his chest and touches, soothes, teases him until his worries get shoved into the back of his mind and are drowned out with the way Charles looks at him—the way Charles whispers into his ears and kisses the spot under his jaw.

Jack doesn’t care that his heart on his sleeve. Charles is armour enough for the both of them.


End file.
